Novel Writing- Things no one warned me about. (Take 1)

So, I've been writing a book for a couple of years now, and  I've finally finished my first Novel, and have begun my second installment of said Novel. Next is agents and publishers and what not. I think it's a really great story, but I'm TERRIFIED to let anyone read it. Mainly because people who thought that they knew me, will realize they really didn't. (Other than my husband who already knows I'm a dirty minded closet case.) 

They'll all be like, "THAT came out of HER head?" But like, the thought of my MOM reading it, or my Aunts? Ugh.

Yes, there's what some people call "Smut" in it. (GASP!!) 

But, I feel it's a well told story, and I spent a lot of time making sure it is well WRITTEN also.

It stems from a really unique and incredible part of my life. It's not a true story per say, but an "inspired by real life story" only completely twisted around. Like, things that could have happened in real life, actually happen in my Novel. People who weren't there, are.

It's about a Summer turned fall turned winter. I met some fascinating people, and had some major dreams come true. Some of the stuff in there is absolutely true, and really did happen, and then there's some other parts, that I think nearly every single teen turned woman can relate to, that I twisted a bit.

So, back to the husband knowing me.

I'm so scared to let him read it. Only because he is my best, WORST critic. Meaning...he's not afraid to tell me if something sucks. He's hurt my feelings many a time by being too damn honest! It's an amazing trait of his, and I appreciate it, but ...TAKE IT EASY! He has gotten a bit softer with his constructive criticism over the years, but I'm still worried. I mean, he read 50 Shades of Grey, and liked the story, but hated the way it was written. He tries to give me advice on my writing too, (even though he's never even read it) which drives me crazy because he a math wiz...not an English wiz...by far. (It's okay too, because we balance each other, and the homework help)

But at the same time, I WANT him to be the first to read it. He's my HUSBAND, my friend, my confidant, someone I trust, ya- know?

I realize one day my children will want to read it as well, or know about it. My 10 year old daughter already asks me too many questions about it, and I have told her it's an adult books for adults and only adults. So she asked if I would ever write a kid's book, which I would love to do, just not right this minute. Anyway...I have a long way to go before they ever pick up my smutty grown up book and attempt to read it. (I'll tell them they have to wait until they are at least thirty, if ever.)

So, those are the things that are plaguing me and my writing for now. I read that if you worry about being good enough though, you are a true writer. So, that helps me sleep at night. ;)